Leaving A Trail of Beauty

( a time to intentionally redirect my gaze & give testimony to the ways God blesses me each week) I have been keenly aware of how my attitude may shift in new season beginning this week. Though I had no clue when I walked out the door of my former job that I would spend the next almost four months under-employed and awaiting God's provision in an up close and personal fashion I'd experienced almost exactly two years ago -- I can now draw comparisons and contrasts in how that time was oh so different from its counterpart. Those musings may show up in another post soon, but let's get right to the focus of this post -- THANKFULNESS.  How has God been faithfully filling my tank? Providing me with a fantastic job as the nanny of a sweet baby boy and his older brother, who is in pre-K. I get to spend my days singing, reading board books that I remember all too well from my days as a mama to the pre-talking crowd, and taking strolls around the neighb

Seen and known. We all long to be seen and known. In our quest for this reality, We are hopeful. We invest ourselves. We are present-- Ever present. We make eye contact. We listen. We catalog tidbits and nuggets Gaining ground, getting close. All a strategy in the seeing All a pursuit of the knowing. We know so much . . . And so little. Our longing hearts Seek more. Not just the seeing Not just the knowing. Seen and known. We want what we cannot make. We give, but with no giving back; We cannot take. We feel the lack. And so we still sit alone. Seen and known.

GOD WINKS. What are they? A "God wink" is anything that comes your way out of the ordinary, or any unexplainable circumstance designed to delight and bring joy. We are His beloved, and He delights in giving us good gifts. I'm not exactly sure who coined the term, but I've been routinely using it to describe those treats in my days that I point right back to my Abba Father, who I am sure must wink just like my earthly Daddy does when he does something extra special or outlandishly sweet. In the photo to the left is an example of a God wink. Let me give you a little back story, my dearest friend on this earth, Mary Lou , is a jewelry designer for jBloom Designs . Each year she goes to their national conference. Recently she was there and waiting at the end of a long line to score some specials available only to designers. The item pictured was a pre-customized bracelet--isn't that amazing!?! She took one look at it and knew it needed to be mine. God wi

( a time to intentionally redirect my gaze and give testimony to the ways God blesses me) Good Thursday morning, all! Some weeks feel like a blip between Sunday and Thursday. This is one of those weeks where I'm not quite sure where the time slipped away, but I definitely feel like the speed was accelerated. Let's dive right in to how God is filling my tank: Provision and sources of income that could only come from Him. Relying on the Lord strengthens my faith and gives me reasons to intentionally take my hands off my circumstances. Dog sitting for my daughter. The year-plus without Shelby has been heart-wrenching at times, and having Ava here fills a void for a small window. Painting and setting up an online store for my art. It's a learning curve, but the results will be exciting on so many levels. More to come on that front! Processing opportunities and decisions with my dearest bosom friend. There is nothing like hoping and dreaming with so

I do NOT look strong. I am barely 5' tall even on my fluffiest hair day anymore. My image definitely ascribes to and lives out the following verse: "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is  wasting   away , our inner self is being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthian 4:16 ESV However, the pictured verse is where I will choose to camp for a moment today: "I ask the Father in His great glory to give you the power to be strong INWARDLY through His Spirit." Ephesians 3:16 NCV  Though my outward appearance and my own perspective of myself may indicate I have no strength or power on my own, I can ask the Father for that power through His Spirit. I can ASK for it. Inward strength. I firmly believe our Father is delighted when we recognize we can't do it. We have no strength on our own. We finally lie down at His feet and seek Him and His power. We admit we can't do it. I know I can't. I am a veritable weakling in my own strengt

I very rarely, ( read NEVER ) speak out politically. Most people I interact with probably don't know my political leanings or whether I'm even registered to vote. (I am and have been since I turned 18.) I've convinced myself over the years of a number of things that are blatantly untrue. One of those is this: Your VOICE doesn't matter. I've whispered it to myself, chanted it almost as a mantra, and slowly but surely I came to believe it. What I am here to tell you and challenge you ( and myself ) with this morning is this: If you woke up with breath in your lungs this morning, unlike those who were victims of mass shootings over this weekend, YOU HAVE A VOICE! YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU CAN SAY and YOU CAN DO SOMETHING! I don't hesitate to come to my keyboard on any given morning to share some pretty picture overlaid with Scripture to boldly carry you forward into your day. I never wonder if I am offending any of you who saunter through my ne

I've mentioned and featured this beautiful visitor a couple of times already. I am all about the tiny ways God chooses to bless me and try to find tangible, daily reminders of His care for me in the tiniest of ways.  I am always on the lookout for what I've termed "God winks". These are ways I feel like He  shows me how tenderly He seeks out ways to delight me with His goodness. On a couple of especially lonely days last week, He sent this beauty to hang around my front steps, clinging to the standing phlox my precious daughter planted there last summer. I spent at least 20 minutes with my phone poised and ready to capture the fluttering and dancing of my unexpected guest. I turned it on "live" mode and caught quite a few shots of her in action. I held the button down and sent "bursts" of her careening from petal to petal. She was in the midst of my amateurish photo shoot and had no clue.  She is pretty from all angles, but w

Eighteen years. Yes, it takes 18 years for that newborn to officially be declared an "adult", but I'm referring to another group of years heavy on my heart today. For the past 18 years in a row I have joined the throngs of other mamas on the first day of school. My news feed today is loaded with smiling faces, new clothes, new backpacks, lunch boxes, and my absolute favorite -- a brand new box of crayons! School starts early here in my area, and though we are far, far away from a real seasonal "Fall"-- summer is effectively over for so many. Though it's been many, many more years since I participated in the back to school frenzy as a student, I cannot lie that I got butterflies in my stomach every single night before the first day of school for my three for the past 18 years. I sit here this morning in a very different place in almost two decades. I have no one starting school. I have no new backpack in front of my door waiting to be scooped u

SUFFICIENT ___________________________________________________ As with so many issues of the Christian life, I deal with the different way God and I tend to think. I find the verse above a comfort at first glance.  I like the part about "sufficient" but my finite mind and sometimes oftentimes stubborn heart wrestle with what God means by sufficient versus what I deem sufficient.  What if He doesn't think I need what I think I need? What if He thinks I can subsist and be content on a way different amount than I think I can? What if His determination of sufficient doesn't add up when it comes to the commitments I've already made? What if His numbers aren't the same as my numbers and those of the cumulative amount of my current bills? What then?  Again . . . what then? Does that mean He is not being sufficient? Does that mean He doesn't care about me?  Does that mean . . . He's forgotten me?  Let's read on

Some days are just like that, aren't they? You know the ones. You wake up simultaneously whispering "Jesus" and "what in the world am I going to do?" in the same ragged breath. You long to spout faithful treatises and flowery expressions of God's sovereignty. Yet all that comes out is a puff of empty air. You don't know what to pray. You don't know what else to say. Your neck hurts from hunkering down and pushing on through. Your sleep is sporadic, because though you said you'd leave it in the capable hands of the Lord; you've conjured up a thousand ways you could try to fix it all by yourself in the inky blackness of the night. You balance the desire for the darkness to stay like a comfortable invisibility cloak and an eagerness for the dawn to break and relieve you from all those night time tangle of thoughts that send the morning racing ahead without rest for your soul. "What comes with this new day?" you hesitantl

REMEMBER We are called to remember. God considered the concept of remembering so important He referenced it no less than 150 times in the Old and New Testaments combined. The verse in question today turns the idea of "remembering" on its head and cautions us what NOT to remember. "Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old." Isaiah 43:18 ESV I'm taking this one to mean don't dwell on the past. It's okay to remember it but don't stay there. Don't fixate on the things of old. Learn from it. Let it give you wisdom for your future self. The following quote struck me as I have been forcing myself to go back as far as I can remember, to get back to that little Pam who was unblemished by years of mistakes, missteps, and misremembering (I guess that really is a word!): "Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them." Richard L. Evans  I find

Hey y'all! It's Thursday already or Thursday finally, depending on your perspective. Either way, it is Thursday, and you know what that means.  Let's take a moment for: ( a time to intentionally redirect my gaze and give testimony to the ways God blesses me)  Sometimes this practice flows right off the fingers and onto the screen. Other times it is a sacrifice of praise.  Whichever it is for you today, know He accepts it gladly and is glorified in it when you intentionally redirect your gaze to give testimony to what your friend, Jesus, is doing in your life. He gets the accolades, and we are all blessed in the process. So, how is God filling my tank this week? My friend Jennie . We have met through hope*writers , and I would have joined just to meet her. You can find her on Instagram @theweekleyconnection. You need to start following her, because she's got great wisdom to share and will encourage your heart. But that aside, she had a fa

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) I would describe myself of "sound mind". Most days. Yet, when I wake up with thoughts scattered, ideas banging around in my head and my heart, and trying to capture them is akin to corralling a swarm of dragonflies -- I certainly wonder. Am I of "sound mind" as Paul would have described in sharing this with his beloved son, Timothy? I spend my time flitting back and forth between spiritual pursuits, training to be a profitable writer, painting my heart out, looking for sustainable employment, keeping my home from crawling up around me in clutter, . . . and untold hours scrolling social media to see what others are doing that is better, wiser, and more profitable than what I find myself doing. My mind is as cluttered as my news feed, and I tear myself away to hover over the next thing for a moment, only to find the beckoning loud enoug

I've been painting angels lately. My mind and my paintbrush have been consumed with them. I'm not sure if the increase in my thoughts about angels has been in tandem with the recent loneliness I've felt, but I have certainly stepped up my study of them in Scripture. Angels are among us. Scripture confirms this over and over. Sometimes they are named. Sometimes they are part of a "heavenly host." God sent His messages through an angel multiple times throughout both the Old and New Testaments. My paintings and my studies are certainly not the end-all, be-all representation of what a biblical angel might be, but they are what I have been inspired to scrawl out on canvas. When it came time for God to make His most important announcement ever, to begin the story of redemption for all of us, He chose to send the angel, Gabriel, to Mary. Let's take a moment and step back into that scene: " And he came to her and said, 'Greetings, O favored o

We all have fears that have kept or keep us from pursuing the ___________ (fill in the blank) we know the Lord has put on our hearts. Voices in our heads. Taunting from a variety of places and spaces. For me, those fears are all related to my writing or making art. I get stuck and feel like a fake. Then I write nothing. at. all. Let's examine a couple of official terms for this oft-recurring deterrent to us having more good writing to read. Imposter Syndrome :  The  imposter syndrome  is a psychological term referring to a pattern of behavior where people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. This article is a wonderful resource. Comparison trap: " The temptation to compare is as near as your next chat with a friend, trip to the store, or check-in on social media. And whether you come out on top or come up lacking, there is simply no win in comparison. It’s a trap," according to Sandra Stanle

( a time to intentionally redirect my gaze and give testimony to the ways God blesses me) How is God filling my tank this week?  Providing in ways I can only attribute to Him. People are praying, and He is answering in His time and in His own fashion. Through creation. Being a part of the team at AR Workshop Rome is a joy and an outlet for leaving a trail of beauty each time I cross the threshold.  Being treated to a movie with my son. We had a great time at this one yesterday. Having time to explore some of my favorite things. I've been painting, sewing, and writing. All pursuits that bring me joy and set my soul at rest. My weighted blanket from Mosaic Weighted Blankets . I've had mine for about six months now, and it has made a world of difference in my sleep habits. Not only is mine pretty, but it provides me with a comfort level I had forgotten I could have during a night's sleep. I even drag it out to the sofa if I'm taking a nap. Relief f

Good morning, friends! Let's talk about God's visible presence today. Does anyone like storms? I adore lightning. The last thing I saw before bed last night was what I know as "heat" lightning. No actual rain or thunder accompanying the lights in the sky, but fascinating to watch, nonetheless. I am ceaselessly enraptured by the displays God puts on for me. Now my Heavenly Father works in my life all the time without visible results. His hand is moving without my provocation and He needn't consult me to enact His perfect will in my life.  Yet, oh, isn't it lovely and glorious when He gives us visible signs of His majesty, His power, and His creative work? I am stopped in my tracks at lightning in the sky.  This works better for all involved if I'm not behind the wheel of a car, but I do try to keep my eyes on the road if a light show is in progress.  The same goes for my rainbow chaser nature. I'm sure I regularly st