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Showing posts with the label devotions

How Long?

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I went on a biblical spelunking expotition ( think Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin ) this morning. I was looking for David’s plea of “how long”. I knew he’d raised it, because I know David throughout the Psalms is oh so much like me. In my quest for the verse pictured, I scampered among these other gems: “Why do the nations rage and the peoples plot in vain?” Psalm 2:1 “You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!” Psalm 4:1b “Give ear to my words, O LORD; consider my groaning.” Psalm 5:1 “My soul also is greatly troubled. But You, O LORD—how long? Turn, O LORD, deliver my life; save me for the sake of Your steadfast love . . .” Psalm 6:3   “Why, O LORD, do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?” Psalm 10:1  More confirmation of what the Spirit has been impressing on my heart all week. I am not alone in my  anxiety, in my pleas for answers, in my groanings, in my questions, in my confusion, or my wondering where God is in

LIGHT: Day Two of hope*writers New Year Writing Challenge

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Light. I struggle with feeling anything but light. From as far back as I can remember, someone in my family has had a poor relationship with food. I grew up in a household of diets and closets full of all the seasonal clothes in addition to all the sizes for every season. My parents each had their own self-image battles that ran the opposite ends of the weight spectrum.  The number of times I saw anyone stop and admire the reflection in the mirror amounted to a handful in the 22 + years I primarily resided with my dear parents.  My self esteem and relationship with my own reflection was shaped by what was modeled for me. I saw the critical eye of my parents, internalized their statements to and about themselves, listened to their judgments, and I deduced a number of things that ultimately shaped my thinking about myself for the rest of my life: I said too much ( I was sassy from word one ) I ate too much ( I got to a point of hating the feeling of being full )

Breaking in Our Armor

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Part Two: What is "customized" armor anyway? I mentioned the last time that our armor is customized. A friend of mine challenged me . . . four years ago now, to draw what I thought my armor might look like if God was designing it specifically for me. While this is a four-year-old pencil sketch I unearthed three years ago and colored -- rudimentary at best and with a need to tweak, maybe even paint on a canvas at some point -- the basic concept is still intact. The concept is this: God knows us. He knows exactly what we need and when we need it, right up to how He chooses to clothe us for battle every single day. He knows what we need to wear and what we need to "take up." I was reading a Priscilla Shirer devotional via @youversion on the armor of God. In it she says this (and so much more you can find in the full study), "In Ephesians 6, Paul conveys the belt, the breastplate, and shoes as a spiritual uniform that should be worn by believers at

We Can Be Perfectly Clothed

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Core Wounds. We all have them. No one escapes childhood without one or more of these core beliefs that shape and drive the way we approach and avoid throughout the rest of our entire lives. How do we go from eager, unassuming, adventurous toddlers to fearful, hesitant, sometimes paralyzed adults? I cannot unhear the things my parents unknowingly said that contributed to the haunting words and phrases still echoing in my mind more than 50 years later. It isn't their fault, and I cannot blame them for the enemy twisting their words to virtually strangle and suffocate me for decades. I cannot unsay those I said to contribute to the ones rattling around in the minds of my three adult children. It is not my fault or my responsibility to erase all the mistakes I made in the two-plus decades I've been a mama. I was not, nor am I able to heal the damage that's been done from my own mouth or the mouths of others with whom they've crossed paths in their steep clim

By Name

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I can go days without hearing my name. Does that ever happen to you? You spend your entire day never hearing your name called by anyone. I have two names I routinely am called these days. Pam, of course, and Mama or Mom (used only by my son). Yet in the course of many of my days in this season, I am addressed as nothing.  Oh, I exchange words with my son, but he doesn't necessarily call me by name. He knows who I am, and we fall into conversations without addressing and using each other's given names. I share pleasantries with the people at ALDI, and while I use the names of those I know -- they are not obligated, nor do many of them know my given name. I can slip through my day without ever hearing my name aloud. A bit disconcerting now that I've allowed my mind to drift there. It doesn't change who I am or make me question my value as a person. It is . . . maybe just a reason for pause. Do I do the same thing with the Lord? Do I wake up and begin

Strong Looks Like . . .

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I do NOT look strong. I am barely 5' tall even on my fluffiest hair day anymore. My image definitely ascribes to and lives out the following verse: "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is  wasting   away , our inner self is being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthian 4:16 ESV However, the pictured verse is where I will choose to camp for a moment today: "I ask the Father in His great glory to give you the power to be strong INWARDLY through His Spirit." Ephesians 3:16 NCV  Though my outward appearance and my own perspective of myself may indicate I have no strength or power on my own, I can ask the Father for that power through His Spirit. I can ASK for it. Inward strength. I firmly believe our Father is delighted when we recognize we can't do it. We have no strength on our own. We finally lie down at His feet and seek Him and His power. We admit we can't do it. I know I can't. I am a veritable weakling in my own strengt

Thursday Thanks Tank

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( a time to intentionally redirect my gaze and give testimony to the ways God blesses me) Good Morning! I'm not good at faking things. I have one of those faces and apparently even one of those texting styles that reveals my true thoughts in spite of the emojis I choose to tack on to the end of my full sentences. Yes, I am a " grammar girl " and text with case sensitivity and punctuation. ( You never know who might be watching, of course!) Back to my first comment . . . I'm not good at faking or pretending. I can't hide it if I'm not doing well or feel deflated. It's written all over my face and bleeds through into my writing. So, I am going to follow through with a commitment I made to myself in breathing life back into my blog.  I will intentionally take time at least once each week to give thanks for how God is filling my tank. He doesn't stop doing it just because I don't feel upbeat and grateful.  He doesn't

Sufficient

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SUFFICIENT ___________________________________________________ As with so many issues of the Christian life, I deal with the different way God and I tend to think. I find the verse above a comfort at first glance.  I like the part about "sufficient" but my finite mind and sometimes oftentimes stubborn heart wrestle with what God means by sufficient versus what I deem sufficient.  What if He doesn't think I need what I think I need? What if He thinks I can subsist and be content on a way different amount than I think I can? What if His determination of sufficient doesn't add up when it comes to the commitments I've already made? What if His numbers aren't the same as my numbers and those of the cumulative amount of my current bills? What then?  Again . . . what then? Does that mean He is not being sufficient? Does that mean He doesn't care about me?  Does that mean . . . He's forgotten me?  Let's read on

Faith Or Fear

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Some days are just like that, aren't they? You know the ones. You wake up simultaneously whispering "Jesus" and "what in the world am I going to do?" in the same ragged breath. You long to spout faithful treatises and flowery expressions of God's sovereignty. Yet all that comes out is a puff of empty air. You don't know what to pray. You don't know what else to say. Your neck hurts from hunkering down and pushing on through. Your sleep is sporadic, because though you said you'd leave it in the capable hands of the Lord; you've conjured up a thousand ways you could try to fix it all by yourself in the inky blackness of the night. You balance the desire for the darkness to stay like a comfortable invisibility cloak and an eagerness for the dawn to break and relieve you from all those night time tangle of thoughts that send the morning racing ahead without rest for your soul. "What comes with this new day?" you hesitantl

Called to Remember . . . Or Not?

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REMEMBER We are called to remember. God considered the concept of remembering so important He referenced it no less than 150 times in the Old and New Testaments combined. The verse in question today turns the idea of "remembering" on its head and cautions us what NOT to remember. "Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old." Isaiah 43:18 ESV I'm taking this one to mean don't dwell on the past. It's okay to remember it but don't stay there. Don't fixate on the things of old. Learn from it. Let it give you wisdom for your future self. The following quote struck me as I have been forcing myself to go back as far as I can remember, to get back to that little Pam who was unblemished by years of mistakes, missteps, and misremembering (I guess that really is a word!): "Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them." Richard L. Evans  I find

A "Sound" Mind

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"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) I would describe myself of "sound mind". Most days. Yet, when I wake up with thoughts scattered, ideas banging around in my head and my heart, and trying to capture them is akin to corralling a swarm of dragonflies -- I certainly wonder. Am I of "sound mind" as Paul would have described in sharing this with his beloved son, Timothy? I spend my time flitting back and forth between spiritual pursuits, training to be a profitable writer, painting my heart out, looking for sustainable employment, keeping my home from crawling up around me in clutter, . . . and untold hours scrolling social media to see what others are doing that is better, wiser, and more profitable than what I find myself doing. My mind is as cluttered as my news feed, and I tear myself away to hover over the next thing for a moment, only to find the beckoning loud enoug

Angels Among Us

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I've been painting angels lately. My mind and my paintbrush have been consumed with them. I'm not sure if the increase in my thoughts about angels has been in tandem with the recent loneliness I've felt, but I have certainly stepped up my study of them in Scripture. Angels are among us. Scripture confirms this over and over. Sometimes they are named. Sometimes they are part of a "heavenly host." God sent His messages through an angel multiple times throughout both the Old and New Testaments. My paintings and my studies are certainly not the end-all, be-all representation of what a biblical angel might be, but they are what I have been inspired to scrawl out on canvas. When it came time for God to make His most important announcement ever, to begin the story of redemption for all of us, He chose to send the angel, Gabriel, to Mary. Let's take a moment and step back into that scene: " And he came to her and said, 'Greetings, O favored o

Thursday Thanks Tank

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( a time to intentionally redirect my gaze and give testimony to the ways God blesses me) How is God filling my tank this week?  Providing in ways I can only attribute to Him. People are praying, and He is answering in His time and in His own fashion. Through creation. Being a part of the team at AR Workshop Rome is a joy and an outlet for leaving a trail of beauty each time I cross the threshold.  Being treated to a movie with my son. We had a great time at this one yesterday. Having time to explore some of my favorite things. I've been painting, sewing, and writing. All pursuits that bring me joy and set my soul at rest. My weighted blanket from Mosaic Weighted Blankets . I've had mine for about six months now, and it has made a world of difference in my sleep habits. Not only is mine pretty, but it provides me with a comfort level I had forgotten I could have during a night's sleep. I even drag it out to the sofa if I'm taking a nap. Relief f

He Lights Up the Sky for You

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Good morning, friends! Let's talk about God's visible presence today. Does anyone like storms? I adore lightning. The last thing I saw before bed last night was what I know as "heat" lightning. No actual rain or thunder accompanying the lights in the sky, but fascinating to watch, nonetheless. I am ceaselessly enraptured by the displays God puts on for me. Now my Heavenly Father works in my life all the time without visible results. His hand is moving without my provocation and He needn't consult me to enact His perfect will in my life.  Yet, oh, isn't it lovely and glorious when He gives us visible signs of His majesty, His power, and His creative work? I am stopped in my tracks at lightning in the sky.  This works better for all involved if I'm not behind the wheel of a car, but I do try to keep my eyes on the road if a light show is in progress.  The same goes for my rainbow chaser nature. I'm sure I regularly st