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Showing posts with the label relationship

LIGHT: Day Two of hope*writers New Year Writing Challenge

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Light. I struggle with feeling anything but light. From as far back as I can remember, someone in my family has had a poor relationship with food. I grew up in a household of diets and closets full of all the seasonal clothes in addition to all the sizes for every season. My parents each had their own self-image battles that ran the opposite ends of the weight spectrum.  The number of times I saw anyone stop and admire the reflection in the mirror amounted to a handful in the 22 + years I primarily resided with my dear parents.  My self esteem and relationship with my own reflection was shaped by what was modeled for me. I saw the critical eye of my parents, internalized their statements to and about themselves, listened to their judgments, and I deduced a number of things that ultimately shaped my thinking about myself for the rest of my life: I said too much ( I was sassy from word one ) I ate too much ( I got to a point of hating the feeling of being full )

An Audience of One

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We all have fears that have kept or keep us from pursuing the ___________ (fill in the blank) we know the Lord has put on our hearts. Voices in our heads. Taunting from a variety of places and spaces. For me, those fears are all related to my writing or making art. I get stuck and feel like a fake. Then I write nothing. at. all. Let's examine a couple of official terms for this oft-recurring deterrent to us having more good writing to read. Imposter Syndrome :  The  imposter syndrome  is a psychological term referring to a pattern of behavior where people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. This article is a wonderful resource. Comparison trap: " The temptation to compare is as near as your next chat with a friend, trip to the store, or check-in on social media. And whether you come out on top or come up lacking, there is simply no win in comparison. It’s a trap," according to Sandra Stanle

Beauty in the Broken

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The BEACH.  My solace.  My refuge.  The place my heart soars and my soul is at rest.  Don't get me wrong. I find beauty in every single day. I see God's power and majesty on a regular basis in the mundane and the extravagant. He is visible all around me when I take the time to intentionally look around and acknowledge His presence.  Yet at the beach, I stand at the water's edge and watch the methodical lapping of the waves against the shore. Or in stark contrast, I find myself in awe of the pounding of the wild and gusty surf during a storm.  The powerful hand of my God moves the entire ocean, and it shoots sand and salty spray into my eyes -- chafing my skin and sending shocks of exhilaration into my heart. I am thrilled at His power and majesty so visible. The same power that propels the water to the shore and pounds the coastline with such unrelenting vigor is what alters my other very favorite past time at the beach.  I am a sheller. From my very f

Be Silent So He Can Speak

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So yesterday's verse was about calling on the Lord. (Psalm 145:18) I mentioned at the end of my short post that it's a conversation. A little fact I routinely forget when it comes to my relationship with Jesus.  Let's trek back a few years to my initial call out to Him. I was drawn to the Lord listening to a guest speaker at youth group retreat a couple of weeks after my 14th birthday. I managed to hear God's tender whisper in the midst of playing goofy games like "Sardines", singing the likes of  "Pass It On" and an early Amy Grant favorite  "My Father's Eyes" , and stuffing ourselves with the first of many batches of  peanut butter "retreat" fudge my mom made for more than ten years of such events. If I'm really honest, I don't think I fully got the picture of what I had done until much later. I took some tiny baby steps. I started reading my Bible. I went to youth group, church, choir, bell choir, and e