Leaving A Trail of Beauty

I'm just going to be really honest. I feel utterly and completely guilty for not being more grateful than I am. I've spent the last 72 minutes giving myself a headache over a website I started working on almost two months ago and still have yet to figure out. At this point I don't even know how to unpublish it! To my dismay, it has been visible to the public for weeks without my knowing it. Talk about feeling like you showed up  to the party without getting dressed first or really knowing you'd arrived at all! I keep coming back here to this familiar place with its familiar format to let my words spill from my keyboard and find their way onto your screens. So, enough of my bellyaching! Let me make some space for thankfulness, turn my bleary-eyed gaze and my heart toward what God has been doing, and leave a trail of beauty rather than griping about something I cannot change in the next five minutes. Here's how God has been filling my tank (or what I am t

( a time to intentionally redirect my gaze & give testimony to the ways God blesses me each week) I have been keenly aware of how my attitude may shift in new season beginning this week. Though I had no clue when I walked out the door of my former job that I would spend the next almost four months under-employed and awaiting God's provision in an up close and personal fashion I'd experienced almost exactly two years ago -- I can now draw comparisons and contrasts in how that time was oh so different from its counterpart. Those musings may show up in another post soon, but let's get right to the focus of this post -- THANKFULNESS.  How has God been faithfully filling my tank? Providing me with a fantastic job as the nanny of a sweet baby boy and his older brother, who is in pre-K. I get to spend my days singing, reading board books that I remember all too well from my days as a mama to the pre-talking crowd, and taking strolls around the neighb

Seen and known. We all long to be seen and known. In our quest for this reality, We are hopeful. We invest ourselves. We are present-- Ever present. We make eye contact. We listen. We catalog tidbits and nuggets Gaining ground, getting close. All a strategy in the seeing All a pursuit of the knowing. We know so much . . . And so little. Our longing hearts Seek more. Not just the seeing Not just the knowing. Seen and known. We want what we cannot make. We give, but with no giving back; We cannot take. We feel the lack. And so we still sit alone. Seen and known.

( a time to intentionally redirect my gaze and give testimony to the ways God blesses me) A little technical difficulty with Chrome this morning, in addition to my own late start means a delayed Thursday Thanks Tank. I hope y'all are having a great Thursday so far! This was the key passage this morning in my devotion on  YouVersion . I found it timely and pertinent. One of the details of this short devotion stood out to me: "The mere act of being thankful can transform a grumpy heart into a joyful one." I have absolutely found that in my own life. I can start the day feeling three steps behind, awakening later than I would have liked, and begin beating myself up for all the ways my day is going to go down the tubes due to my bad choices. However, if I take a moment and refocus my attention on gratitude rather than on myself and my shortcomings . . . I find a salvageable day already filled with reasons to be thankful. Here are a few that came to m

I can go days without hearing my name. Does that ever happen to you? You spend your entire day never hearing your name called by anyone. I have two names I routinely am called these days. Pam, of course, and Mama or Mom (used only by my son). Yet in the course of many of my days in this season, I am addressed as nothing.  Oh, I exchange words with my son, but he doesn't necessarily call me by name. He knows who I am, and we fall into conversations without addressing and using each other's given names. I share pleasantries with the people at ALDI, and while I use the names of those I know -- they are not obligated, nor do many of them know my given name. I can slip through my day without ever hearing my name aloud. A bit disconcerting now that I've allowed my mind to drift there. It doesn't change who I am or make me question my value as a person. It is . . . maybe just a reason for pause. Do I do the same thing with the Lord? Do I wake up and begin

GOD WINKS. What are they? A "God wink" is anything that comes your way out of the ordinary, or any unexplainable circumstance designed to delight and bring joy. We are His beloved, and He delights in giving us good gifts. I'm not exactly sure who coined the term, but I've been routinely using it to describe those treats in my days that I point right back to my Abba Father, who I am sure must wink just like my earthly Daddy does when he does something extra special or outlandishly sweet. In the photo to the left is an example of a God wink. Let me give you a little back story, my dearest friend on this earth, Mary Lou , is a jewelry designer for jBloom Designs . Each year she goes to their national conference. Recently she was there and waiting at the end of a long line to score some specials available only to designers. The item pictured was a pre-customized bracelet--isn't that amazing!?! She took one look at it and knew it needed to be mine. God wi

( a time to intentionally redirect my gaze and give testimony to the ways God blesses me) Good Thursday morning, all! Some weeks feel like a blip between Sunday and Thursday. This is one of those weeks where I'm not quite sure where the time slipped away, but I definitely feel like the speed was accelerated. Let's dive right in to how God is filling my tank: Provision and sources of income that could only come from Him. Relying on the Lord strengthens my faith and gives me reasons to intentionally take my hands off my circumstances. Dog sitting for my daughter. The year-plus without Shelby has been heart-wrenching at times, and having Ava here fills a void for a small window. Painting and setting up an online store for my art. It's a learning curve, but the results will be exciting on so many levels. More to come on that front! Processing opportunities and decisions with my dearest bosom friend. There is nothing like hoping and dreaming with so