Shaking My Fist or Trusting

"Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him." Job 13:15 (NKJV)

I only put the first half of this verse on my image.

Isn't that how we all want to remember it?

We want to remember and BE remembered for trusting.

We want to survive the slaying an come out on the other side as the one who faithfully trusted, who soared above her circumstances and saw it through to the other side.

Job said more in this verse, and I follow his lead as well. Here it is in the ESV:
"Yet, I will argue my ways to His face." vs. 15b
He goes on to say in verse 18:
"Behold, I have prepared my case; I know that I shall be in the right."

Does God shirk away from our arguments?

Is He afraid of our shaking fists or well-crafted "case"?

Does He stifle our voices and tell us we can't come before Him with questions?

In each case, I believe the unwavering answer is "NO".

Unfortunately, I don't necessarily always come with a humble heart in the asking. I shake my fist wildly. I prepare my case with research and diligence. I approach Him with an indignant spirit, almost shouting my "rightness" in the instance being questioned.

I "argue my ways to His face" forgetting He already knew I'd come to Him this way. He knew I'd be hopping mad. He knew I'd shake my fist, cry hot tears of anger and frustration, and stomp my little Chucks in an adult-sized temper tantrum.

Does my precious Lord then banish me for my childishness?

Again, a resounding "NO".

He scoops me up, reminds me He is "slaying" me to make me more like Himself. I cannot be more like Jesus while still clinging to those things around and in myself that are contrary to His likeness.
I must be willing to relinquish the pieces and parts of myself that look nothing like Him in order to emerge MORE like Him.

While I long for this, I am also painfully aware of the refining process in REMOVING those pieces and parts. The only way for me to look more like Jesus is for me to leave those things unlike Him behind.

I must choose to want Jesus more than what I am losing. I must choose to look at myself and see Him through me instead of just trying to see more of me in the reflection.

In reality, I am losing NOTHING. Paul says it better than I.

"Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ" Philippians 3:8 (NKJV)
So, while I do want to be remembered for the trusting, I also want to be the one who emerges more like Jesus after the slaying. That's the whole purpose of it all anyway.

Leaving a trail of beauty~


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